Joy, Scars, Family (Part 4)
by R.C. Cummings
Summary: The behind the scene of what happens when Emily Prentiss meets up with her total past. (This is a cross over to a degree with Rizzoli & Isles) A sequel to Joy, Scars, Family (Part 3)


***After reading a review I became concerned that one of my titles which contain a lot of information in it has been over looked. When I posted Joy, Scars, Love (Part 3) I had to go back in and mark it complete twice. I have noticed that this section has less traffic than any of the other stories. I thought it was just a glitch but now I wonder.**

 **When one of you asked for a refresher of characters I wondered if that section had been read. It explains Sister Kate, the Falcon and is the back story to Emily and Maura's wedding bands. It also has the preparation for the mission for JJ and Maura.**

 **There is parts in that section that will manifest itself… if not in the next part the part after and gives meaning and richness to the story. Finally that chapter holds the first love scene between Emily and Maura.**

 **If you haven't read it then please go back and read for it will give understanding to some things you have already read and richness to the things coming.**

 **With all this said I decided to do a part four to Joy, Scars, Family and totally close the mission phase and start on another phase. This part will be much shorter than previous ones obviously but I wanted to draw attention to this issue if it was one quicker.**

 **Thank you again for all the feedback and for reading. Happy Holidays because I'm sure it will be later that a longer section gets posted.**

 ***Okay as always I own nothing of Criminal Minds or Rizzoli & Isles just enjoying using the characters.**

Chapter One

JJ awoke to the smell of her addiction…coffee. She rolled over to see if Jane was awake in the other bed and she was gone. She decided to go and check in the living room where Garcia had slept on the sofa but she was gone as well.

She decided to feed her addiction before more investigation. She was about to take a big mouthful of coffee when the door to Emily and Maura's room opened and Maura came out in a beautiful green robe.

"Sleep well?" She asked.

"Not really Emily had a very rough night sleeping. I believe she finally just laid there pretending to sleep so I would."

"Is she sleeping now?"

"No… she and the others slipped out over an hour ago. She left me a note that coffee would start now and…"

A knock on the door interrupted her. "Room service"

She opened the door to a man rolling in a room service cart filled with breakfast pastries that Emily had placed before leaving. They both smiled knowing the thoughtfulness of the woman they both adored.

"She also said that in an hour there was going to be another knock with ladies from the spa downstairs. They are going to give us a massage, manicure, and a pedicure."

"She does know how to spoil a woman." JJ said with a giggle.

"Well I'm guessing it's her way of making up for days of rough living during the trip. She always was considerate of my fashion needs. At school she would give me manicures."

"Yeah that sounds like her. She would finally give in to Garcia's nagging and would paint her toes for her. She never would allow us to paint her nails though."

"Her feet are very ticklish so I do not imagine she would."

"Never tell Pen that or she will torture the woman."

They both laughed as they realized Emily would just threaten to shoot her and that would stop that. They ate their breakfast and waited the spa ladies arrival.

XXXXX

Jane, Garcia and Emily rode to the Ambassadors house in Maura's car leaving the F.B.I. SUV there for JJ to drive her and Maura there.

"So my little stud muffin did you have fun last night because you look like you haven't slept?" Garcia started to get Emily out of her head.

"Garcia… Don't start. We need to focus on this debrief. Have you made copies of the contracts?"

"Yes Scrooge your contracts have been made."

"I am not a Charles Dickens character Pen. I am exhausted and not because of where your one track mind is going. I didn't sleep for thinking about this debriefing."

"It's going to be okay Emily." Jane finally added her two cents worth in.

"I hope your right but no one likes signing Title 18 papers and this one is even more serious than just a regular Title 18."

"I know that Em and I signed it." Pen said trying to comfort her friend.

"Thank you Pen."

"Who needs to sign those papers?"

"Well everyone that will be in the debriefing."

"Why?"

"I will be giving a whole run down of everything including top secret things that are never to be revealed."

"Can I read this contract when we get there?"

"Yes… there are two contracts the first is like a Title 18 the second one will be explained during the briefing."

XXXXX

Maura and JJ received their massages first so they wouldn't accidently mess up their nails. The women could feel knots melting away as the women worked on their backs.

"Maura…"

"Humm…"

"What are we going to do about Em?"

"What do you mean?"

"She is in an emotional vice."

"I know but let's give her some time. This debriefing is going to be hard on her. She is going to reveal some things about her past to everyone and I know that it has her on edge."

"You mean what we found out at the start of all this?"

"Yes and some other things that she wouldn't speak to me about. But I am going to have a discussion with Dr. Kate when we get there. She has to start sleeping for both the baby's and her sake."

"Is she having second thoughts on having the baby?"

"I do not think so but she is in a really bad loop. She doesn't talk because she is tired and she can't rest because she needs to talk."

"I know you threw up when you saw the pictures of her in the file we showed you. I know you understand more about the torture she went thru. How bad was it Maura?"

Maura closed her eyes willing the bile back down as she remembered the pictures.

"Jennifer… I could give you a scientific run down but you really do not want to know. All I will say is it is a miracle we have her here in one piece. I will only say this she was violated everywhere one can be violated sexually."

"Oh God… I thoughts so but was hoping not"

"Look I have spoken with Jaclyn when we were on the boat after Afarsi died because I needed to know about the abuse she took from Doyle. Emily has suffered many traumas and we can't just address one without understanding it all. That would be like only stitching up a wound on someone's arm and leaving a gaping stab wound in their abdomen."

"What did Jaclyn say?"

"Not much due to her own issues but I got enough to understand Emily took a lot of abuse on all levels with that man too in order to save Jaclyn and Declan. The man was into bondage and torture.

She said the messed up nail on her right hand was done by Doyle when Emily suggested that they didn't need Jaclyn anymore and to release her. He slapped her and placed her thumb in a vice clamp and twisted it until the edges of her nail came together. She said Emily never cried or made a sound. She did throw up from the pain which is what got her released from the vice so she could clean it up."

"I have a hard time picturing Emily in a submissive role."

"Jaclyn said Emily caught him asleep that night and placed a loaded Glock under his chin. She said it excited him that he found a woman of his caliber and the next day is when he took her out to release her by death but Emily anticipated his move and had people there to save her after he left."

"They had her with that man for months."

"Yes and I'm sure we do not even want to imagine the horror of it."

"How could she survive that?"

"I have a theory that we will talk about after these ladies leave. I need to write somethings down that are plaguing my thoughts but at the moment I really just want to relax and let it all come together."

Chapter Two

Emily walked into the house and was greeted by an enthusiastic four year old brunette.

"Madre…"

"Inside voice sprog," She said as she bent down and picked up the bundle of energy. "What are you and Angela going to do today?"

"We are going to go see the movie _Cinderella_. It will be fun even though it is a fairy tale."

"Why I think that's a wonderful idea."

"Can you come too?"

"I'm sorry not today… but how about the Museum of Science this weekend?"

"Really…"

"Yes… let me check with Maura and nonna and see if they would like to join us."

"Oh… yes please…"

Angela approached the two smiling.

"You two are a perfect picture of mother and daughter."

"I hope you are right. Motherhood scars me more than all of this."

"Then you are an official member of motherhood." She said laughing at the younger woman's insecurities. "I still wonder if I'm doing things right and giving right advise even though my girl is in her … later years." Angela changed her wording when she saw Jane approaching them.

"What is my mother corrupting you with?"

"Nothing just giving me words of wisdom on motherhood."

"Yeah like smoother them to death by ten so they do what you want. That doesn't work." She said with a smirk.

"Jane…You are incorrigible."

"Jane…"

"Hello Miss Chessie… How are you today?"

"I'm great…Angela and I are going to the movies and madre and I are going to the Museum of Science this weekend. Do you want to come?"

"Well that is exciting but I am working today but I will check and see about this weekend."

"Oh madre…Can Declan come to the Museum too?"

"Chessie I believe Frankie is taking him to a ballgame this weekend." Angela said informing the little girl that wasn't possible.

"Okay… but we will have fun won't we madre?"

"Yes we will."

"We need to get going if we are going to do some shopping before the first movie."

"Okay." The little girl turned to whisper into Emily's ear. "Declan calls Angela nonna can I call her that too?"

Emily smiled and whispered back, "Ask her if she would mind."

Chessie just buried her face in Emily's neck being all shy.

"Sprog…do you want me to ask?"

The little girl shook her head yes but kept her head in Emily's neck.

Emily was concerned because Chessie had never been a shy child. She would talk to Maura about it later. "Angela Ms. Chessie was wondering since Declan calls you nonna if she may also?"

"I would love that my little angel. Now get going so these ladies can do their job."

"Yes ma'am." She said as she gave Emily a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

"Be good for nonna sprog."

"I will because she said we could have popcorn too if I was good."

"Yes a good Italian nonna. Bribery will get you everything." Jane said laughing and hugging Angela. "Just don't let Maura find out she will give you the rundown of how bad the butter on the popcorn is for you."

"Hush you…"

Emily and Jane watched the two leave with both of them bouncing in excitement of the day's activities.

"Thank you"

"For what"

"Giving my mother grandchildren, now she will leave me alone."

They both laughed as they made their way into where the debriefing was going to take place.

XXXXX

The ladies from the spa had just left when there was another knock on the door. JJ and Maura looked at each other puzzled and JJ went to see who it was. When she looked through the peep hole she was surprise to see three other women in the hall with two clothes racks full of hanging clothes.

She opened the door and the lead woman pushed her way in yelling orders for the other two to follow.

"Dr. Isles… darling it is lovely seeing you again."

"Isabella what are you doing here."

"The Ambassador insisted I come personally and fit you and a Jennifer Jareau for today and tomorrow night's advent."

"Well that was very nice of her but what exactly is going on tomorrow?"

"Some celebration she is throwing and she wants her new daughter in law to look her finest. I hope we will be in the considerations for the bridal gown?"

"You will be first on the list my friend."

"Oh good, now let's get started."

"What is Emily wearing to this event?"

"I almost forgot… The Ambassador left that choice up to you saying she wanted you two to blend as a couple."

"Do you have her measurements?"

"Yes her mother gave me a general size."

"You may want to go and get new ones my friend she has lost weight over the last few weeks."

"That's not good since she is pregnant."

Maura and JJ looked at each other worried at who else the Ambassador has told. This wasn't a good thing given Emily's disposition lately.

"Isabella that isn't common knowledge so can you keep it under your hat so to speak especially with Emily just for now."

"For you Dr. Isles anything"

XXXXX

Emily and Jane walked into the meeting room and noticed Clyde and Hotch talking over by the door leading to the rose garden. Morgan was greeting Garcia when he noticed the two coming in.

"Well if it isn't the Stud Princess herself up in here."

"Derrick I wouldn't if I were you…."

Ignoring Garcia's warnings, "So many women so little time… Am I right Emily?"

Emily's eyes went dark and she smiled an evil smirk as she looked at Morgan, "Keep it up big man and I will go to plan B for your punishment since the threat of shoe shopping with Garcia isn't working anymore."

"Why so nasty after a night with four beautiful ladies?"

Clyde came over needing to speak to Emily, "Morgan you are no match for anything this master mind has thought up. I warn you dear sir to cut your losses and ask forgiveness now before whatever has caused that smile on her face… has a chance to be hatched properly. Now if you will excuse us I need her majesty for a moment."

"Wow he seemed serious."

"That's what I have been trying to tell you. Emily isn't her old self. She has these demon pregnancy hormones that can pop up and play with her dark side and they are scary. You really embarrassed her last night with Sister Kate."

"Yeah but this is Princess we are talking about Garcia. She is all talk."

"Okay… I warned you."

Chapter Three

The girls checked out of the hotel and found everything including the valet's gratuity taken care of. They felt like royalty in their new clothes and nails. Maura went with a Von Furstenberg for her dress of the day but chose a Chanel for evening wear tomorrow since it was the Ambassador's event.

JJ just allowed Maura and Isabella to choose for her since she wasn't really up to date on Vanity Fair. They chose a form fitting Vanderbilt paint suite with baby blue pants and a V-neck white lace blouse with a matching jacket.

Maura had on a soft yellow V-neck dress that gathered to the left sided causing a pleating effect down her left side while the rest of the dress hugged all the right curves. Luckily shoes were also brought to go with the outfits. JJ was grateful because all she had brought were boots and sneakers.

"Jennifer how much time do we have before the debriefing?"

"About an hour and a half"

"Do you mind if we stop at this coffee shop on the way. There is a drug store beside it and I need to pick up a quick journal to write some thoughts down."

"Sure we can I'm always up for a good cup of coffee."

"You and Jane could live on it but scientifically I know that is impossible."

JJ smiled at Maura. She knew that Emily's health was weighing on the woman's thoughts and hoped whatever insights her writings had would help her friend's health.

XXXXX

"What's up Clyde?" Emily asked as they stepped back into the main foyer area.

"Are you ready to wrap everything up?"

"Yes it is time to deal with everything."

"Good"

"What did MI6 have to say?"

"They said for you to decide between Interpol or the Queen's court to handle the punishment. They are both willing to do whatever you decided. They felt under the circumstances that it should be your call."

"Let's address it and see the reaction that will tell me which way to go."

"Your call just let me know because we are leaving after the debriefing to get back."

"We"

"Yes my friend Mr. Easter must get back to Interpol and I must get back to my mission."

"as-salaam 'alaykum" (peace be upon you) Emily said hugging the warrior before her. "I will miss you Pearl but I understand."

"wa 'alaykum salaam" (Upon you be peace) Pearl said pulling back from Emily's hug with tears. "Listen I know your heart but this matter must be dealt with. Remember other lives are depending on this decision as well."

"You do have a way of clarifying things for me Pearl."

"I learned it from the best."

"jazakAllahu khair" (may Allah reward you with good) Emily said thanking the woman for everything.

"Emily here is all the facts you need to present."

"Thank you Clyde I think I'm going to read over it and the other file just to center myself. I will see you inside in an hour."

XXXXX

Maura entered the coffee shop with the journal and a new pen in hand looking for Jennifer. She saw her in the corner drinking her coffee with a look of abandonment on her face.

"If that coffee is that good maybe I should have gotten it instead of my Chia tea."

"I'm sure it's only that good for me." She said smiling up to her friend. "I see you are ready to calculate and figure out our Emily."

"Well I'm not so sure about that but a collection of data could never hurt in the analysis of any situation."

"Do you want to leave right now or would you like a moment to collect?"

"I believe I would like to go now. I hate to be interrupted when I am flowing with a thought. I might pull away from the group after the meeting depending on the atmosphere at that time."

"I totally get that. I miss having an office that I can lock myself away in to think. Now that I'm in the bullpen with everyone else it is really distracting."

"I may need to ask you some questions later. Forgive me if they seem to be of a personal nature but I promise it is purely for the purpose of piecing together some thoughts.

"Maura of anyone in the world besides Emily I trust you. Now I will give you a word of advice though Emily isn't going to like being profiled."

"I am not trying to profile her Jennifer but I have to understand what we are dealing with. I am truly worried she is slipping into something I do not even have words for at this time. She couldn't even sleep on my chest last night and that has never happened."

"What do you think is causing it?"

"I have to analyze this like I do an autopsy. I gather all the information or evidence from the body and then weigh it against the science."

"That is physical and you are dealing with emotional here."

"You are correct and I will consult with professionals I trust in that field to guide my analysis."

"She isn't going to like that at all Maura. When she came back from Paris she was made to go to mandatory Psyche meetings and she played the woman like a violin. She told her that she was good and dating a new man named Sergio…"

"Sergio… isn't that her cat?"

"Yes…see what I mean?"

"I understand but she isn't going to get help from an outside source as you have so clearly pointed out so we or I… if you are not comfortable with it will have to help her if nothing else for the baby's sake. The stress her body is going through because of emotional pain cannot be good for the baby."

"I get that and I will help but you need to know a profiler hates to be profiled."

"So you would rather suffer in silence than receive the help you need. That is not rational thinking."

"Maura nothing that we just went through this past two weeks is rational and Emily has done what we did for many years and has gone through many more horrors than I really want to imagine. I myself reach out to the ones close to me but that isn't Emily's way she boxes it all up…"

"Yes and I'm afraid that Pandora's Box has been opened and she can't put it back in because it has expanded with everyone who hears the stories."

"I've seen that too but what do we do to help?"

"Let me work on it some and we will talk more about it later."

Chapter Four

The room was filled with everyone when Emily finally came in to start the debriefing. She didn't look at anyone but Hotch who understood she wanted to start so she could get it over with.

"Okay every one let's give Emily our full attention. I will ask that you listen to her fully before any questions are asked which I am sure will be many. My B.A.U. team I realize like the time before when Emily returned from Paris there may be some trust issues but I implore you to take a moment and weigh your emotions against truths of choice that we have all have come to learn working for the government. The floor is yours Emily."

"Thank you Hotch."

Maura and JJ looked at each other with a concerned look after seeing the face of total detachment that Emily was wearing. The fact that the only people she was focused on seemed to be Hotch and Clyde unnerved the two.

Jane was sitting by Maura and Pen by JJ and both felt the concern pouring off their friends.

"Maura you okay?" Jane whispered softly and took her hand under the table trying not to draw attention to them. Maura simply nodded up and down a couple of times but she didn't release Jane's hand.

JJ on the other side of the room was watching Emily and was reflecting on how she looked like almost like the Emily that first showed up at the B.A.U. just darker. She chanced a glance around the room and noticed others had picked up on it as well. She wondered if Hotch's hadn't made his speech before her if they would've noticed.

"Before we get into the start of this debrief there will be a bit of house cleaning…"

Emily looked at Clyde who was sitting by Pearl and Holly he gave his nod of understanding.

"I know that I have almost been unbearable to be around these past few weeks but it is not easy for me to trust especially when the lives of people I love are at risk.

This whole mess started with a mole and not Whitlock. This mole's agenda I haven't totally figured out but maybe she can shed light into her motive since I have search and haven't found one. The only one that is even plausible is jealousy over a job…."

"Well aren't you just the smart one Miss Prentiss."

"Holly why"

"The London office was my job until you poked your bloody nose in."

"Clyde called me to take over the London office. Do you realize what your actions set in motion. The information you gave to Whitlock got my wife killed."

"Yeah like that really hurt you two months later you are engaged to another whore who you say you loved more than Kia in the first place."

"Don't you even speak her name, that is the mother of my child and as for Maura she is a lady something you will never understand being. Clyde… I have asked Frankie to post up outside so please hand cuff her and you and Pearl can take her back to Interpol with you."

"A wise choice my friend," Pearl said as she helped hand cuff Holly and escort her to where Frankie was waiting to watch over her.

Jaclyn made a sudden move to grab the trash can to hand to Emily. She was just in time as Emily threw up everything in her stomach. Maura was up in a flash and was going to go to Emily when she saw Jaclyn waving her off.

"Excuse us a moment ladies and gentlemen but I believe Emily needs a moment to get some air. Hotch can you go over the first contract issue some while she gathers herself."

"Yes…Garcia can you pass out that contract for me."

"Yes sir right away."

Jaclyn and Emily left for the rose garden so Emily could finish heaving and regrouping. Maura and JJ watched as they walked out and both felt helpless but really knew that Jaclyn was right that Emily would just totally with drawl into herself if either one went to her.

Jane wanted to read the contract but was preoccupied in worrying about Maura. She knew it was taking everything her friend had with in her not to go to Emily.

"Can I please have your attention?" He was trying to draw everyone's eyes to himself instead of Emily or Holly yelling curses at everything and one she could from the other room.

"Clyde now that you and Pearl are back we can get started. Emily wanted me to go over the contracts somewhat so people would understand the legal ramifications that pertain in signing theses contract."

He gave the two a few moments to get back to their seats before starting again.

"You all have seen a Title 18 contract but what is before you is more serious. If you sign this contract you are agreeing to hold everything that is said in this room secret. If you leak this information there are severe consequences up to and including treason of one's country."

He waited as everyone picked up the contracts and started reading carefully as he spoke. Jaclyn came back in halfway through his speech and motioned 10 minutes by holding up both hands signaling Hotch that Emily would be back in at that time.

"Okay…Are there any more questions concerning the contract only and is there anyone that does not want to sign. Speak now so we can escort you out of the room if not start signing now please and Garcia will pick them up and I will review them before Emily starts again."

He saw everyone pick up their pens and started signing the contracts but he knew that a few had reservations and some had doubts but they were willing to give Emily a shot at explaining it all.

Emily walked back in and her face was paler than they had ever seen it and her eyes were pitch black. Maura couldn't stop herself at this time she walked towards Emily.

"Don't!" Emily shouted at Maura and extended her hand out stopping the woman's progress.

"Emily!" Maura shouted back with her fist clutched to her sides.

This surprised everyone. No one knew what to say or do. No one had ever heard Maura shout at Emily. Normally she would just get rigid and lower her voice to an octave below ice.

"Please habibiy… I know… let me finish… I have to do this and this is the only way I can get through it." Emily softened her voice to almost a whisper.

"You will see Dr. Kate immediately after this and if you won't let JJ or I stand with you at least let someone else." Maura conceded with a defeated sigh.

Jaclyn popped up knowing Emily was about to blow all the resolve they had just built up in the rose garden, "Come on QB I'll stand with you… let's get this over with so you two can speak in civil tones again."

Maura looked at Emily and saw pure emptiness in those dark eyes she loved. She turned and walked back to her seat wiping her eyes not being able to contain the tears streaming down her face. JJ wanted to go to her but knew it would turn into a crying fest even more than it already was.

Jane wanted to put her arm around her friend but didn't knowing the tears flowing were from anger not sadness.

Emily made her way to the middle of the room. Jaclyn stood two steps behind her giving the stressed woman room to breathe. She looked over at Hotch to check if everything was in order with the contracts and he shook his head that it was.

"I am going to start this debriefing by explaining where I learned to sharp shoot…"

The door opened and the Ambassador came in. She walked in about five feet in front of Emily and looked at Jaclyn.

"Agent Hotchner hand me one of those contracts."

They were all silent as the Ambassador signed the contract. They were wondering who had contacted her until they noticed Garcia slipping her cell phone back onto the table from her lap. The two of them had become comrades in care of Emily over the last two weeks.

After signing the papers she stood straight up and in full Ambassador Persona, "Jaclyn it will not be necessary for you to stand behind my daughter."

Maura stood straight up but the Ambassador pointed at her never leaving eye contact with Emily.

"It is not necessary but out of respect for my daughter in law's wishes you can stay. My daughter doesn't need anyone behind her because she is a Prentiss and a Prentiss never has trouble communicating to others.

We are passionate about who we are in everything we do… right or wrong because we do it with all our hearts. We serve our country and fellow humans with integrity and love. We make decisions based on the belief of a greater good to others even if it good hurts us or when others do not understand our sacrifices.

She is a Prentiss and has important things to tell us so I urge you to give her your full attention like I am going to do."

Emily never took her eyes off of her mother. With every word she stood taller squaring her shoulders and jaw. They all saw dark empty eyes change to blazing eyes of purpose and stamina.

Maura sat down in amazement of the transformation. She noticed that the Ambassador didn't move from where she was standing. It was almost like she was sending an invisible stream of strength into Emily as she began to speak.

"When I left Maura at boarding school I returned here to finish my high school years at Garfield High. As a picture that Garcia found shows I was a teenager out of control. I no longer fit anywhere and I ached for Maura.

I wanted to die but I knew that Maura would be blamed if I killed myself and I didn't want to put her through that pain from my death or from the wrath of my family so I existed.

I was invited to a party one night and I watched the kids dancing or what they called dancing and I hurt. They were horrible and my arms were empty which made my soul empty so I got drunk to numb the pain.

Our driver Cecil came and picked me up from the party and noticed my intoxicated state. He decided to do a one on one intervention and took me to the gun range he had set up in the back fields of our property instead of to the main house.

He told me how he served with my father in Vietnam and how he promised to watch over mother and me. He told me I was better than this drunken mess before him. I cussed him out in Italian and he gave it back to me.

Needless to say that shocked me and got my attention. He had served in Italy after his tours in Vietnam. He said he knew I was hurting but I needed to put that energy into something useful so he started training me on how to shoot.

I was so angry and hurt that it was a perfect outlet. I spent hours practicing and perfecting hitting my targets whether still or moving. He then started training me on scenarios and backgrounds since at one point I thought I wanted to go into the armed forces. But that wasn't going to work for me. Being gay and in the armed forces were not a matched made in heaven for a person in the early nineties.

I still trained after I went to college on my breaks and holidays because I didn't want to disappoint Cecil. He was a Marine Core sniper and I was as good as he was. He saved me through that time between Maura and college by giving me something to learn that also was an outlet for all the anger I felt.

Cecil taught me how to protect myself and others. He taught me to always think ahead and to be prepared for anything like he had with that secret compartment he put into the limousine. He hid the M16 in case we ever got into trouble and needed a weapon. I was the only one he told about it.

He taught me to control myself and that acting out only opened me up to being attacked and that self-control teaches one how to box up things and keeps one safe.

Then I went to college and I really didn't have the boxing thing down pat yet. At the house was easy but away from the house I fell back into aching for Maura. Luckily I meet someone who helped but she was killed.

She gave me the courage to try and make it right with Maura but it was too late at that point she was going to get married and I joined the F.B.I.

I was so angry that she had moved on and I missed my chance. I would go to the gun range to relieve my anger and was so good that I was shipped over to the C.I.A. for spy training after graduation. They sent me to Interpol after that and they trained me in the art of being an assassin. I was so good at it that in five years they made me train classes in it.

The rest you all know about with Doyle. What you do not know is that my team at The B.A.U. started me to feel again. I joined the B.A.U. wanting to regain my life to make sense of the story. When I came back after Paris I realized to stay I was going to have to ask other stories to die so I left to find my own story one that was mine.

I found that with Kia and Chessie I thought but as we have learned today my story caused another's to die without me ever knowing it did. I normally wouldn't have gone this far into the back story but you are my friends and family and you deserve to know more than just the bare facts.

Now to where we need to be, before I left to come back and assist in helping rescue JJ I had asked for my top desk drawers to be rekeyed and I only be given they keys to it. I could place my finger on it but things were out of place by fractions. When I returned I was given my new key which should have red flagged me because there is always two but my personal life was exploding at the time.

Long story short my application for adoption and marriage were locked in my draw. I had asked that the papers be returned certified so only I would receive them but as you can guess Holly signed for them under an old alias from when she worked at MI6. She gave the papers to Whitlock that set these last few months in motion.

I had to find out what her motive was in this. If she was actually in on the plot to hurt my family or what so I couldn't trust anyone knowing the plans but Hotch and even he didn't know the back up plans that were used.

It turns out that only her jealousy is what she was guilty of. I believe she thought that my marriage to Kia would get me thrown out of Interpol or at the very least taint my record somehow so she could take over my job. Her actions however got Kia killed and almost cost my operatives life plus almost giving an unfriendly nation a nuclear weapon.

I was monitoring a faction that I was assigned in my earlier years to kill the leader of whose name was Bahadur Sqar. The faction survived on after his death and his son carried on the his father's ways. It was planned that The Falcon would gather information and retrieve an informant but after I went off the grid it became too hot for her to complete her mission.

She took the alternant route of going to Tel Aviv with the information she had collected as was our plan and I would have been the one going and getting the informant since I knew the terrain.

As we all know that couldn't happen so team two accomplished that task. To answer a question I know that is on some of your minds. Bahadur Sqar Jr. was never meant to live past the moment I arrived on the shores of Iran.

JJ was never meant to be the one to kill him I was, but since I couldn't go that fell on Jaclyn or Z-man. One of them was to stay behind and accomplish that but since fate had it taken care of they all got out together.

In the journals, pictures and contracts that the informant got us we were able to piece together the theft and the routes of future thefts.

Bahadur Sqar Jr. took over his father's antiquities business which also included a shipping company. We gained the evidence that it was one of his trucks that was trying to carry the nuclear missile into Iran.

World Wide Construction was building a warehouse near barracks of one of Pakistan's army bases. The shipment load of the truck with the missile was to have been building material from World Wide Construction to build a warehouse for Sqar to store his merchandise.

World Wide Construction is owned by Daniel Holcome who is married to Amy Cramer sister to Senator John Cramer who is a silent partner in World Wide Construction. Senator Cramer was arrested by Hotch and Rossi and turned over to the justice department. He committed suicide this morning in his holding cell.

His brother in law Daniel Holcome was shot by the Pakistan police trying to bring him into custody. The routes and plans of the faction trying to arm Iran with nuclear weapons has been handed a major setback and war between the nations has been averted for now.

There was a local arrest in this case made by the Boston Police. A Steven Dix who worked for World Wide Construction before becoming a correctional officer at Framingham Correctional was arrested for stabbing Nichole Tessler. Her step brother is a cousin to Mary Haas who is married to Senator John Cramer.

Nichole Tessler is the nurse who was arrested for trying to attack me in the hospital a few weeks ago. He has given more evidence against World Wide Construction.

It is over now with everyone arrested and everything out in the open, so much death and destruction over a job. I know you have questions but the only people you can ever talk with concerning this are in this room.

With that said it brings me to the second contract. This one you have two weeks to decide if you want to sign but if you decided not to it can never be mentioned that it exists.

Garcia handed out the second contract as the Ambassador went and hugged her daughter.

"You are a Prentiss and I am proud of you but most of all you are my daughter and I love you no matter what."

Emily pulled her mother in for a tighter hug silently thanking her for the support and help. The Ambassador pulled back, "I have things to attend to. Thank you for allowing me to crash your party." She said with a smile as she left winking at Garcia as she passed her on the way out.

"Hotch can you please go over this contract. I am not feeling well and I need to go and see Dr. Kate before Maura hurts me."

They all chuckled lightly.

"Go ahead Emily I can handle this."

"Thank you."

She never looked up from the floor until she reached the door to open it but never got to because she was turned around by her shoulders by Maura's hands.

"Emily…Look at me."

She wouldn't look up.

"Your mother is right you are a Prentiss. Stubborn and think you have to bare the world on your shoulders alone. Look at my eyes I am not judging you.

I saw what your actions had accomplished. It was freedom for a while so a little girl could learn the love of her mother that didn't have to be raped and tortured nightly. You gave her time and hope so much so she wanted her child named after you…Michelle.

Understand you are my heart…my soul… my family and I love you so much. We will fight this darkness together love. I feel the pain of the stripes you are beating yourself with and it is almost unbearable. Please Emily look at me and forgive yourself."

She slowly looked up into hazel eyes that had tears streaming down. She fell down to her knees sobbing.

"I'm so tired of fighting and death but they won't let me go. They have all the keys."

"Who love… who have the keys?"

"The ghosts"

 **Thank you again for reading. I also want to thank the one who asked for a roll call of characters because this part needed writing and it has given me the start of the next section.**

 **It will open up with Maura's journal of facts and as I stated at the end of the last section it will be more intimate and will deal with the ghosts of rape and decisions made.**

 **But I promise there will be a lot of laughs as well because Morgan needs punishing and Garcia will be Garcia a bunch in this next section. Plus what fun is it without a few more twists.**


End file.
